I’m currently navigating life after college- yes, yes…it’s as hard as you remember it to be, and I’ve learned a lot about life, myself, relationships, passions, and more.

A little over a two years ago, I graduated from college, having earned my undergraduate degree in three years. Shortly after graduation, I started my very first job, moving away from my home state.

This past year, I’ve spent a lot of time alone, experiencing life and learning about myself.

Here are the top three things I’ve learned so far.

#1 Life Isn’t Easy

I know, I know, you’re probably laughing at me right now.

“Duh, Jade…tell us something we don’t know.”

Listen, I don’t know why, but I was in a utopian bubble of bliss in college.

Yes, I still had to navigate a worldwide pandemic, relationships, and figure out what I wanted to do after college, but I was in utopia nonetheless.

I was running through fields of flowers with a double rainbow overhead, while puppies chased me to Natasha Bedingfield’s Pocketful of Sunshine.

But then.

Between starting my first job, moving away from my family, doing long distance with my boyfriend, and everything in between, life hit me like a bus.

I needed to experience this, though. I need to realize that not everything in life is easy, not everything is perfect.

Of course, I knew this to a certain degree in college,e but I learned it at a whole new level after graduating.

You’re constantly going to be navigating through hard times, waiting to catch a break, realizing that one may never actually come.

But despite all this, you see the utter beauty of life, in the pain, in the mess.

You realize that you (and your life) don’t need to be perfect and that no one expects you to be.

You realize that we’re all just trying to figure it out.

Literally, no one knows what they’re doing. So stop putting the pressure on yourself to have it all together, because no one really does.

#2 Community Means Everything

I’ve failed miserably at building a community around myself in this new town. I take full ownership of that.

But I never realized before just how important community is and how my not having one would contribute to my overall happiness and mental well-being.

The harsh transition I experienced contributed heavily to this.

I went from being a Residential Assistant, having lived with 30+ other people, being involved in several organizations, and hanging out with my best friends every day, to being alone. All the time.

I knew how important community was when I went back home every summer from college, experiencing the emptiness of being without my people.

The difference between summer breaks and moving to a different state is vastly different, though.

Whereas during summer breaks, I knew I had a community, one that I would eventually go back to, when you move to a different state, you straight up don’t have any community.

Oftentimes, you’re starting from ground zero. And ground zero in the real world is harder than ground zero in college.

At least in college, you’re surrounded by people who are your same age, doing the same thing. In the real world…it’s much more complicated.

My communities in college helped to support and encourage me and allowed me to grow into the person I am today. They greatly contributed to my happiness and overall satisfaction in life.

For me, having no community is a significant hole in my life, albeit a hole many people experience throughout their lifetimes.

All this to be said, never underestimate the power of a community- or a few friends- in your life.

#3 You’re Not Going to ‘Find’ Yourself in Any One Season of Life

Why do we think that the start of any new season is also the start of finally coming into who we were truly meant to be, or finally ‘finding’ ourselves?

When we turn 18 years old, we start a new chapter and think our lives are finally beginning. When we graduate from college and get our first jobs, we think we’ll finally be who we were always meant to be. When we get married or have our first kid, we think we’re at the pinnacle of our lives.

Newsflash: No matter what stage of life you’re in, you’re constantly evolving. No ‘fresh start’ or ‘new chapter’ is where we will come into who we ‘really’ are.

Becoming who we’re meant to be happens over a lifetime of experiences, trials, and opportunities. It doesn’t start when you turn 20 and end when you turn 30.

If that were the case, life would be boring!

Don’t be fooled into thinking that any new endeavor is the one that is going to allow you to become your true self; it’s a terribly limiting belief.

Accept that you will constantly be evolving throughout all seasons of your life, aiming to be the best and truest version of yourself.

Real Talk

In college, I got micro-doses of the struggles I would endure post-college. However, I was not prepared for the full impact of the ‘real world’.

This past year, despite how hard it has been for me, has been good.

I’ve gotten in touch with who I want to be and how I want to lead myself.

I’m realizing now more than ever that the trajectory of my life is in my hands and that I’m responsible for bringing my visions for my life into reality.

As the seasons of life shift and tides change, I no longer want to expect that one period of my life is the pinnacle of my life. I no longer want to take the community for granted.

I want to take life one day at a time, making it the best I can in the moment. I want to remain hopeful, jovial, and spread as much love and positivity as I can.

Interested in joining me? Great, let us go forward, together.